How to survive Super Bowl Sunday

Super Bowl Sunday is becoming the most dreaded Sunday of the year. Sorry to all you football fans out there but, not everyone in America or the world for that matter, finds the sport of football fascinating.

What the rest of the us see when, we see a football game, is a bunch of big grown men, [I mean, big, big, BIG... gargantuan] grown men, pretending how to count -- all the while scratching, grunting and patting each other on the butt after, they've smashed some other guy's face in the ground. I mean really... is it THAT fascinating!

Well, maybe it's fascinating for the scratch and grunt club but, the rest of us...uh-- NO!

These are the best 10 ways to survive SBS [Super Bowl Sunday]

1. If you're one of those ladies or gents who doesn't have the word N-O in your vocabulary, and you're having a get together for the game, get everything done first thing in the morning. Have all the chips, dips, chicken wings, beer, bug juice, fizzy stuff -- EVERYTHING done right after you get up then you won't have to worry about it later.

Once the game starts, that's YOUR time. Learn the word NO! Tell the arm-chair quarterbacks not to ask you for anything, or call your name. Remind them that they have two hands and they can get what ever else they need.

2. Assuming you have more than one television in the house -- rent 3 movies. Rent what YOU like [if you have kids and like kid's movies rent 2 for them and 1 for you. By the time the kids second movie is over it's their bedtime and you can enjoy the last movie in peace.

3. If you're an avid reader, no time like the present to pick up the book you've been putting off. Put some ear plugs in, settle back in your favorite recliner and jump into the authors mind.

4. Get together with a bunch of non-football friends and have a card party or a book club meeting or go to bingo.

5. Get out and go to a movie, time it just when the game comes on.

6. Do your hair or give yourself a facial or give yourself a manicure or pedicure [yeah, metro-sexual men do that too]

7. Check the T.V. listings to see if there's a Murder She Wrote, Law and Order, The Closer, etc... marathon showing on another channel.

8. If you're a Church goer, go to an evening service, afterward, go to a restaurant for a snack [sit as far away from the bar as you can...they'll have the game on]

9. If you have a hobby [knitting, painting, sculpting] do it.

10. Get on the computer and go to your favorite online journal or your own website and write about how to survive Super Bowl Sunday!